I have spent my entire life being in someone’s shadow.
Anywhere I go, I’m known as my brother’s little sister. No matter where I am, someone knows my brother and will associate that to my being. I don’t hate being this person because he’s a genius (who is more than occasionally cocky and self-important) with a big heart (nonetheless). Not only that, people who know this about me tend to think highly of me. As great as that is, I just sometimes wish that people thought highly of me for me. I’ve spent my whole life trying to figure out who I am, but I seem condemned to be this guy’s little sister until the day I die. I want to be recognized for something more than that, but I feel stuck in a situation of self-loathing and internal conflict because I know that I’ll never be as great a person as my brother. The thing is I know I shouldn’t have to feel like this because I am different from him. But if I think like that, I just start recognizing all of my inadequacies and shortcomings, and I become overwhelmed with a feeling of insecurity that I’ll never be as smart or as clever as my brother.
Then my friends wonder why I feel the need to relieve myself with drugs.
