Academic Success? What’s That?
One of my closest friends Krista is moving to the states. She got a gymnastics scholarship to some really great university. I don’t really know the details because I was honestly barely listening to her when she explained it all to me. I was distracted by how depressing it all is.
At first, I was upset over ‘losing’ the closest thing I have to a best friend. After seeing how selfish that is, I was sad because she made me realise how unaccomplished I am. I’ve known this girl since we were 6 and both just getting into gymnastics. While she spent over half her life committing her body, mind, and soul to the sport, I was desperately trying out then quitting random hobbies and whatnot hoping to figure out what my passion is (to no avail). She has reached a point where she knows exactly the kind of future she wants which turns out to be the one that’s kind of destined to her. She has worked so hard towards her goals. I am not only lacking motivation; I am lacking a goal. It’s just really frustrating because all I want is to love something to the point of never doubting whether what I’m pursuing is right or not.
I’m honestly just such a shit show at this point. All I do is avoid work and go out to have fun. Why can’t the program I chose for college be fun? Better yet, why the fuck did I pick something I don’t even enjoy?
